Last night, I had the privilege of guest lecturing for a class of MBA students at California Baptist University. My original plan was to deliver a lecture on how I select stocks in my Bullseye Stock Trader advisory service, and to talk about the financial newsletter industry at large.
Yet, there was a slight obstacle to my giving this talk, because there were some technical issues with the A/V equipment in the room that prevented me from sharing my PowerPoint presentation replete with charts, technical analysis, etc. So, instead of trying give the lecture I had planned, I called an audible that I think turned out to be much more enjoyable.
What I chose to do instead is to simply have a conversation.
Now, by conversation I don’t just mean me pontificating about what I do. By conversation, I mean that I asked each and every student in the room what they wanted to do with their lives.
The answers were quite interesting. Some of the students had very specific goals and an exact path mapped out to get there. Others didn’t quite know what they wanted to do, but they knew that getting their MBA would help them become more knowledgeable and more marketable.
During these conversations, I learned quite a lot about the students’ ambitions, how they thought and why they were choosing their respective paths. I found this out because I asked questions first, and then, most importantly, I listened to their answers.
I say listened, because so often, we engage in discussions with colleagues, friends, family and casual acquaintances without truly listening to what is coming our way.
Instead, many times we are so intent on getting ready to present what we want to say that we are tone deaf to the dynamics of the interaction. Hey, this happens to all of us, but it doesn’t have to.
If you make the conscious effort to really listen to another person, and not merely wait for them to stop talking so that you can make your point, you will become the kind of person that people really like to converse with.
This is of critical importance in life, because the only means of understanding, persuading, changing and growing is via honest, open and meaningful conversation.
Ask yourself this, when was the last time you engaged in a truly meaningful conversation? If coming up with an answer is difficult, perhaps you’re long overdue for just such a meaningful interaction.
Here are three actions steps/how-to tips for engaging in a truly meaningful conversation:
– Actively listen to your interlocutor. Pay attention to what is being said, and how it’s being said. Then, don’t interrupt, don’t make negative facial gestures and don’t look away. Pay attention and learn.
– Be an honest interlocutor. If you want to have a meaningful conversation, come from a place of honesty, integrity, facts and values. Don’t evade reality, don’t make stuff up and don’t deny your feelings. Be frank; and be real.
– Find points of commonality and build from there. Every meaningful conversation consists of hashing out points of disagreement, and more importantly, finding points of commonality. It is my belief that whatever differences people have, they have many more points of commonality they can build on. After all, we are in this thing called life together, and regardless of different perspectives, we share far more agreement than disagreement. So, build on that commonality and run with it.
For more tips on effective communication and how to have increasingly meaningful conversations, I recommend, “5 Ways a Renaissance Man Can Improve Communication,” by my friend, colleague and communications expert Heather Wagenhals.
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Heaven’s Wasted on the Dead
Heaven’s wasted on the dead
That’s what your mama said
When the hearse was idling in the parking lot
She said you thought the world of me
And you were glad to see
They finally let me be an astronaut…
— Jason Isbell, “Only Children”
Sometimes you come across a lyric that stimulates your mind in the best possible way. I recently encountered such a lyric in the song “Only Children” by Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit. The version I like best is this acoustic performance for the radio station KEXP (a station I highly recommend for music lovers of all stripes).
The notion that “Heaven’s wasted on the dead” is quite intriguing, as it makes you think about the life you have now, and how best to live that life. And no matter what you think happens after we die, one thing we know for certain is that we have this moment. So, please don’t squander the now. Instead, create your own heaven, right now, because when you really think about it, all we have is now.
Wisdom about money, investing and life can be found anywhere. If you have a good quote that you’d like me to share with your fellow readers, send it to me, along with any comments, questions and suggestions you have about my newsletters, seminars or anything else. Click here to ask Jim.
In the name of the best within us,
Jim Woods
